雅思大作文7分範文及解析：教育孩子犯罪危害的方法

觀點類大作文，犯罪類話題

Some people who have once committed crimes become good citizens. Some people think they are the best people to talk to students about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

題目來源：2015年8月8日大陸雅思大作文

1、題目大意

一些曾經犯過罪的人成為(wei) 了好公民。有些人認為(wei) 他們(men) 是與(yu) 學生談論犯罪的危險的最佳人選。你在多大程度上同意或不同意？

2、思路解析

這是一道觀點類題目，聊得是讓“前罪犯”教育學生犯罪的危害是否合適。審題時需要注意兩(liang) 點，一是第一句“Some people who have once committed crimes become good citizens.”是背景句不用討論但有個(ge) 限定對象即“已經從(cong) 良的前罪犯”，二是觀點中包含絕對詞“the best people”，一般遇到絕對化表達，從(cong) 反對角度切入更加合理。下麵，月半鴨和大家一起來看下具體(ti) 觀點。

首先來看這麽(me) 做合理的部分，這些改過自新的人有切身體(ti) 驗，了解犯罪後給他人和自己所帶來的危害及負麵影響。相較於(yu) 普通的老師或其他教育者，他們(men) 也許能夠提供第一手資料，他們(men) 的親(qin) 身經曆對於(yu) 學生來說可能更加具有說服力。

然後來看反對的角度，有三方麵。

一是從(cong) 教育角度來說，其中包含了許多技巧和方法，這些前罪犯雖然可能有親(qin) 身經曆，但是他們(men) 未必能做好教導孩子這一過程。

二是以“前罪犯”這一身份分享，孩子們(men) 可能會(hui) 當事人產(chan) 生歧視和偏見，對其所講的內(nei) 容也未必會(hui) 重視，教育的效果反而不佳。

三是如果一個(ge) 人已經改過自新，那麽(me) 應該被當做普通人來公平對待。但反複強調“前罪犯”的身份並要求其重複講述自己錯誤的行為(wei) ，可能對當時人是一種侮辱，也容易引發別人對他不公平對待。

3、提綱

4、高分範文示例

This essay will argue that it is irresponsible to believe that reformed ex-convicts are the most qualified individuals to lecture youngsters about the consequences of crime.

Despite the attractiveness of their personal experience as a vivid illustration, ex-convicts are not the ideal individuals to teach children about the hazards of breaking the law. Prior to determining whether a strategy is the most effective, it is necessary to establish certain benchmarks in order to establish a sense of distinction. In the sphere of education described in this essay, criminology experience — the identification of multiple offenses, the degree of danger posed by unlawful actions, the calculation of punishment, etc. — holds sway. Educators are needed to have a positive, virtuous personal image because they interact with students, a vulnerable group that is very prone to being influenced by others. People may question their suitability once they are confronted by the students: they have a past, they are not prepared to be professionals in their knowledge, and it is difficult to assess if they are "decent." Therefore, the person who performs better at this job will have expertise in the knowledge of crime and related preventing methods, as well as a good reputation among students in general; the police or professional investigators in crime-related fields will sound more appropriate in conducting this job.

We would be more convinced of this conclusion if we examined these ex-prisoners in greater depth. The foundation of the argument is that those described are already decent individuals, which  means that they should, on the one hand, serve in society as a regular citizen would, and, on the other hand, not be regularly discriminated against by others. The just action of teaching students about crime-related facts primarily by utilizing their personal experience as an example is what puts them into "a man who used to violate the law." This may give them stereotypes about the general public, especially among students who lack the maturity to treat them without bias. In the end, these ex-criminals should not be regarded as a negative reference, since they are at risk of suffering human rights violations; they deserve equal respect from society as a whole, provided it is not required to disclose their criminal past.

In conclusion, I am compelled to oppose the opinion due to a lack of consideration of the potential repercussions of allowing former prisoners to engage in crime-related courses.

5、相關(guan) 詞匯和語法結構

irresponsible   不負責任的

most qualified   具備……資格

benchmark   基準

vulnerable group   弱勢群體(ti)

violate the law   觸犯法律

human rights   人權