UPenn賓夕法尼亞大學大學錄取點評

Holistic Review:

As an admission officer, I am impressed with Lily's dedication and perseverance in pursuing her passion for music. In addition, her essay shows a deep appreciation for the power of music and its transformative effect on individuals and communities. These traits make her an attractive candidate for UPenn, especially as a bio/pre-med major.  

Lily's passion for music shines through in her essay. From her early interest in piano lessons to her determination to learn marching band technique, she demonstrates a deep commitment to the art form. More than that, however, she shows how music has been a source of joy and inspiration in her life. Her descriptions of the camaraderie and energy of the marching band are particularly moving, and they suggest that she has found a meaningful sense of belonging in this community.  

Lily's emphasis on the importance of community underscores another critical strength. Her essay makes it clear that she values being part of a team and working collaboratively with others. It is an essential trait for success not only in music but also in the sciences. In particular, it is an asset in the medical field, where teamwork and communication are critical to providing quality care to patients. In addition, Lily's experience in the marching band suggests that she is well-suited to working with others toward a common goal.  

At the same time, Lily's essay reveals her resilience in facing difficulty. Despite struggling with marching technique and feeling disappointed in herself, she did not give up on the band. Instead, she worked hard to improve, even practicing on her own time to perfect her technique. This persistence and determination will serve her well in college and her future career as a pre-med student.  

Overall, Lily's essay provides a compelling portrait of a young woman with a passion for music, a willingness to work hard, and a commitment to the community. These qualities will undoubtedly make her a valuable member of our university, and we are lucky to have her as a part of our community.  

整體(ti) 回顧：

作為(wei) 一名招生官，Lily在追求她對音樂(le) 的熱情方麵的奉獻精神和毅力給我留下了深刻的印象。 此外，她的文章對音樂(le) 的力量及其對個(ge) 人和社區的變革性影響深表讚賞。 這些特質使她成為(wei) UPenn 的有吸引力的候選人，尤其是作為(wei) 生物/醫學預科專(zhuan) 業(ye) 。  

Lily對音樂(le) 的熱情在她的文章中體(ti) 現得淋漓盡致。 從(cong) 她早期對鋼琴課的興(xing) 趣到她學習(xi) 軍(jun) 樂(le) 隊技巧的決(jue) 心，她展示了對藝術形式的堅定承諾。 然而，不僅(jin) 如此，她還展示了音樂(le) 如何成為(wei) 她生活中快樂(le) 和靈感的源泉。 她對行進樂(le) 隊的友情和活力的描述特別感人，這表明她在這個(ge) 社區找到了有意義(yi) 的歸屬感。  

Lily 對社區重要性的強調強調了另一個(ge) 關(guan) 鍵優(you) 勢。 她的文章清楚地表明，她重視成為(wei) 團隊的一員並與(yu) 他人合作。 它不僅(jin) 是在音樂(le) 領域而且在科學領域取得成功的基本特征。 特別是，它是醫療領域的一項資產(chan) ，團隊合作和溝通對於(yu) 為(wei) 患者提供優(you) 質護理至關(guan) 重要。

此外，Lily在軍(jun) 樂(le) 隊的經曆表明她非常適合與(yu) 他人一起為(wei) 一個(ge) 共同的目標而努力。  

同時，Lily的作文展現了她麵對困難時的韌性。 盡管在行進技巧上苦苦掙紮並且對自己感到失望，但她並沒有放棄樂(le) 隊。 相反，她努力提高，甚至利用自己的時間練習(xi) 來完善自己的技術。 這種堅持和決(jue) 心將對她在大學和她未來作為(wei) 醫學預科生的職業(ye) 生涯大有裨益。  

總的來說，Lily 的文章描繪了一位對音樂(le) 充滿熱情、願意努力工作並致力於(yu) 社區的年輕女性的令人信服的肖像。 這些品質無疑將使她成為(wei) 我們(men) 大學的寶貴成員，我們(men) 很幸運能有她成為(wei) 我們(men) 社區的一員。